Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out

<< previous next >>

mustafa mustafa

this week my friend and mentor MUS died very unexpectedly, aged 60

today we went to his funeral, in sidcup

<< previous next >>

mus used to do all my printing and neg scanning for years

he had an unexpected lab at the bottom of his garden

he was crude at times, but funny and wise.

we met 20 years ago

when our industry changed and we went more digital and less print, mus went more into property: being a shrewd turk-cypriot business-minded man

we called each other every few months to catch up

i would often ask him advice and then usually ignore his advice, which i usually regretted later

even when he was not with us in person, in our house, we'd sometimes say 'what would mus do?'

this week before he died, i passed his home, as i often do on my way to and from London, and i thought 'i should call in a surprise him: havent been round in ages'

then i thought, 'na: i'm a bit tired: next time'

a couple of days later, i got a call from him

we ALWAYS answered the phone to each other 'moooooottttttthhhhheeerrrrr fuuuuucccckkkkkker'

but for unknown reasons this time i answered the phone, 'hello'

i immediately knew something was wrong when his son Hasan spoke.

calling to tell me that his dad had died

mus was very healthy: he played squash and rode his bike for miles but died of a massive heart attack in the night

in some ways, i used to think this was a great way to go: i'd joke about how that would be my ideal death: living life and enjoying everything and then suddenly gone.

but the family and friends that are left are so shocked when this happens, its kinda cruel.

there were about 100 people at mus' funeral.

he was muslim, the same way i am christian (not so much)

muslim funeral's are very different to British christian funerals (where people mainly try to stifle their grief and keep a stiff upper lip)

at mus' funeral there were open displays of extreme grief and sadness: many tears and cries, but also many hugs and comfort

it felt communally cathartic: a real sharing of everyone's loss

and then men, shared in the burial of mus: taking spades and covering his casket with earth

i didnt take pictures of the grave when everyone had finished but it was covered in flowers and incense and a big recent picture of mus smiling

possibly the most intense funeral i've been to...and sadly i've been to a few now

mus has been dead less than a week and i miss him more than i knew i would: you dont appreciate what (or who) you have until you dont have them.

when i went to hug Belgin, mus' wife, she asked me 'who you gonna call now?'

Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out: October 08, 2022